Feb. 8th, 2017

Peaceful.

Feb. 8th, 2017 11:19 pm
improperlyhuman: (Default)
Finally got myself away from wasting quite so much time on forums. I've been studying grammar to improve my editing skills, and, as of today, I'm learning Linux programming.

I have a dream of being a freelance programmer. Programming is so much more cut-and-dried than editing: either the program does what it's supposed to do or it doesn't. But I need to build up years of skill. I could do that in no time if I were my younger, less jaded, less rundown self.

Back to the good ole days, the reading and fiddling with computers late into the night. I've only just recently gotten my sleep/wake schedule back to early rising (where I want it to be), and now I'm poised to destroy that.

Got tired of Debian hanging at boot, so I re-installed it. The installation went haywire and installed to the wrong drive, over-writing my old Ubuntu. So I'm looking at other distros to use on the unused drive. I like CentOS, but it's not really a general-use OS (the repos are nearly empty), so I'll probably just use it as a Live USB and install Mint.

Having an OS as a live usb will allow me more secure access to Google Docs (if I ever need to work with Google Docs). Being a derivative of Red Hat, CentOS is also the perfect OS with which to familiarize myself for professional opportunities. I looked into Linux training and the courses cost thousands of dollars. What the hell. So I'll be learning from youtube videos.

I don't even know if there is much of a market for Linux development. But like everyone is focused on web development right now, aren't they? (Yuck). So I'll be in the minority of the minority and maybe can get my foot in the door that way. And maybe the endless tracking on the web will drive the market back to standalone software. Haha. I'm not actually laughing.

I'm in another repulsed-by-people phase, so I took down my dating shite again. Not that there was much to take down this time. I think this one will last a loooong time; forever, I hope. I have better, less random things to do with my life. In addition, some new understanding about my sordid psychosexual history squicked me out so much that my sex drive has departed. Hallelujah.

Actually, I'm not really repulsed by people. I feel that from time to time, but mostly I'm just weary, disinterested, and demoralized. I enjoy them more this way, from afar, when I'm not invested. My life is more peaceful this way. 

I don't seem to be losing any weight, so I was just considering lowering my calories down to about 1000, when I was suddenly weak today and ended up eating a ton: after my navy bean, kale, and millet soup, I went out to Taco Bell for tortilla chips and a bean burrito with rice, then had two Clif Bars. Haven't felt that full in a long time.

I thought I just felt bad because of low blood sugar, but I still felt bad after eating, so, I dunno. I'm lifting heavy again, and maybe I just need more food. Or just more protein. I'm benching more than I ever have: 30 pounds this week.

Actually, I probably just need to finally get my staggered caloric intake planned out instead of eating the same 1100 calories per day.
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