Feb. 12th, 2017

improperlyhuman: (Default)
In addition to not cycling, I skipped lifting today because the "hunger" was becoming too expensive (to support with protein bars). Maybe I should go back to cycling; I lifting is the culprit. This is just something I'm doing until my protein powder gets here.

I found a couple feminist organizations I'd like to volunteer at, but they're too far away. Actually, I couldn't afford the transportation even if they were in the next town over. Moving here is the mistake that keeps on taking.

So I was motivated after that to look up apartments on craigslist. I emailed the details to my VA social worker and asked that she or the housing coordinator call and inquire about them. Asking for something I know that I can/feel like I should do myself felt uncomfortable, but I know that I'm more likely to get the apartments if they make contact with the landlords, and I need respite from stressful phone conversations.

I didn't do much today and felt a bit regretful (not for today so much as for not having done much over the course of weeks), but I tried to be more gracious to myself given that I was working out some psychosocial stuff: feeling bored, down again about people being presumptuous and nasty to one another, and how I could deal with this, how I could be involved without going insane.

Was also concerned about navigating the social aspects of activism. Well, I'm just going to try to start off in an administrative role or something similarly non-social. I can't do tabling or leafletting; I'm too averse to conversation and too anxious about others' possible irritation at the intrusiveness of the latter.

I've always felt intruded upon when people extended pamphlets my way. But I don't have to feel that way; feeling intruded upon is about me than it's about them or their causes.

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