Feb. 23rd, 2017

Demi-Damn

Feb. 23rd, 2017 11:45 pm
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When I hear a really nice melody, it gives me a pang because I miss playing music so much.

The fatigue—I think it's low blood sugar. But it's that low blood sugar that's difficult to raise or something. Over the course of several hours, I ate damn near half a box of candy trying to raise it, but I just worsened it. Then I saw that it was time for the next meal. I think I've been having low blood sugar for half the day because the brain fog causes me to forget to have the next meal.

My goddamned joints hurt, I don't know why. The lifting? I'm getting old? Not enough protein? Haven't really been using that protein powder.

People really are a rollercoaster ride. But I'm dealing with it a little better now. The trick is to only be half-invested, half giving a damn. A demi-damn, if you will. And you WILL, damnit. How is "damnit" spelled? Dammit. Damnit. Damn it.

I can't cycle before breakfast in the morning anymore. I feel too crappy. I've been downing water like a fish before bed and throughout the night. Still wake up feeling dehydrated/low blood sugary.

Seems like the more water I drink, the more my body demands. I used to hardly drink anything during the day, and nothing at bedtime or during the night. I keep telling myself that I'll drink even more and see how I feel, but I never make that happen. Sitting in the cold on that bucket in the middle of the night, half awake, waiting MILLENIA to finish voiding, I have a drink but I just can't stomach much more than I've been having.
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