Apr. 9th, 2017

improperlyhuman: truck tipping over on the highway (tipping truck)
I was supposed to increase my squat weight to 75 lbs today., but I couldn't. I couldn't even row the weight I rowed last week. My back was too weak to support the weight. It was horrible. I was so disappointed. I had the strength in my arms, but not in my back. I was wobbly with 70 lbs. on my shoulders; 70 lbs. isn't even heavy!

I had some unexpected energy this afternoon, so I cycled. Then this random back weakness in the evening. I don't get it. I dunno what's wrong with me, but if it prevents me from working out, it's going to be very difficult to live with.

I looked up the blood test that was positive. That result is associated with autoimmune diseases. Lupus! Just give me my lupus and let me die; anything is better than not being able to lift.

What if my spine disintegrates into a pile of bone dust? Why is my back the only weak body part?

I'm gonna up my Vitamin D even more and see what happens.

I don't care abvout anything. I violated my diet and I'm not gonna brush my teeth before bed. I don't have the energy to care.

My new bar of African black soap isn't working on my scaly arms. This is the second bar of soap that hasn't worked. Nothing has worked since I left the shelter. Only the Walmart soap worked! Maybe it's the humidity in here? So I said to hell with it and used the salicylic acid I got prescribed at the VA.
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