Jun. 27th, 2017

improperlyhuman: (Default)
I think that I'm an INTP. I've been suspecting this for a while, but I've been having difficulty grasping the functions (which would allow me to verify my type), so I've just been sort of ignoring the issue every time it comes to mind.

I keep scoring INTJ on tests (including the ones in books). I think the problem is that I score INTJ from a dichotomies perspective (I vs. E, N vs. S, etc.), but INTP from the perspective of cognitive functions (Ne vs. Ni, Te vs. Ti, etc.).

I've never strongly related to the supposed INTJ getting-things-doneness. I didn't notice that so much when I was younger because I was more productive and actually involved in accomplishing things. More recently, I considered that my lack of productivity (particularly professional/academic productivity, the dimension I notice as I contrast myself with other INTJs) was due to my being largely uninvested in the workings of this society/an anarchist (also the possibility of class privilege. oh, and I keep forgetting that I'm disabled!).

But now I see that I'm not terribly productive with my own hobbies. I care more about understanding than creating a product. I think the drive to produce explains why the INTJs seem more willing than I am to engage others (IRL) despite their introversion; they need to engage to produce, but I don't need to engage to understand. They seem more practical.

I kept telling myself that I wanted to be a computer programmer despite my disinclination to program outside of the structure of a course. (Part of the disconnect is that, starting at the intermediate level, the path of a programmer is learning by example and trial and error, which I dislike and find difficult.) I don't care about creating programs so much as I enjoy figuring out the logic of an algorithm. This accords with INTP descriptions.

I would like to purchase a copy of Introduction to Type (which was written by one of the creators of the MBTI). I hope that this book will give me the understanding of the theory I need to verify my type. It costs almost six dollars. I have eighty or ninety dollars. I shouldn't...

My fatigue today was worse than yesterday despite my being further removed from Sunday's workout. I had to have some caffeine. So now I won't be able to sleep.
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