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[personal profile] improperlyhuman
It doesn't work anymore. For example, I had two Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif Bars and half a Red Bull yesterday, and I was still hella tired. But I dragged myself up for that workout anyhow. I had a double dose of Vitamin D3 today. Still tired. I suppose Vitamin D3 doesn't work so fast that I'd notice it in a matter of hours anyhow.

Good news, though: My concentration has much improved. Racing, anxious thoughts have decreased somewhat. It seems I'm able to read a bit again, so I've ordered my next selection of old school lesbian fiction: The Haunting at Hill House.

I'm trying harder to save up to move away, so I'll be taking the shuttle to go grocery shopping. Yesterday in the shower I suddenly saw that I'd be better off saving up the money I spend on the taxi service for some good earphones. On second thought, I think the best are Bose, and they cost like three hundred dollars.

I told the shrink my concerns about delving into my dysfunctional childhood, and that dissipated my hesitation quite a bit. We talked about it and it wasn't as big of a deal as I'd feared, largely because we didn't go into detail. These books on the topic, I'm about through with them because I can't strongly relate. My childhood didn't mess me up so badly.

I coulda swore I just saw little stars swirling around out of the corner of my eye.

I eat so much nowadays, it is ridiculous. Wouldn't it be funny if I put on so much muscle that I couldn't comfortably feed myself on food stamps? Ha.

The shrink was surprised when I told her that my parents were criminals. I think she thought that I came from money, lol. She said that she imagined that my dad was a successful businessman and ran a traditional family. Nope. Long ways from traditional we were. My parents weren't even married.

I feel at peace today. I really decided to stop worrying about what I might be missing and how weird I might seem, it is really setting in. Thinking it was just the first step; I had to let it percolate in my sub-conscious a bit.

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