Jan. 6th, 2017

improperlyhuman: (Default)
Got another haircut today. Goddamn I love the feel of my own scalp against my hand.

Finally started clearing the floor today! I've got my math, science, foreign language, and some computer science books piled up neatly against the kitchen walls. The landlord is coming to see about the busted heater, so that motivated me a bit to clean up. For like half a second I felt bad that I couldn't motivate myself to clean the apartment, but whatever.

I've been overeating (as in, not dieting) a bit and I hardly even care. Tired of being on a diet. My thighs are also starting to get bigger (increase in muscle with no decrease in fat), so I really need to get on the cycling thing. I didn't go out today. I have one day per week off from exercise, and I decided that should be Friday instead of Saturday.

I'm not eating much protein. Once I start lifting heavy again, I know the hunger pangs are gonna start. For now, I don't wanna eat any legumes.

I sure do miss sex.

I've been trying to not have resentful and irritated thoughts about people, but I'm having a hard time managing that.  According to the Myers-Briggs personality system, one of my most underdeveloped functions is extraverted feeling, which has to do with maintaining social harmony and establishing shared values. Definitely not my forté.

I try to gear myself up to even consider developing that function, and I feel angry and resentful. Not a good start, lol. I dunno, I guess in my mind I just see more of me conforming to other people's expectations and not getting what I need in return, and of course I've little motivation for that. I need to figure out where/how to find some compatible people without exhausting myself by meeting random person after random person.

But the people like me stay at home or are hidden in libraries somewhere.
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