Mar. 7th, 2017

improperlyhuman: (Default)
Whatever was broken got fixed, and I was able to access the road again today. !!!

I dunno how far I cycled, maybe twenty or twenty-five miles. Looked at the weather report before I left the house and was almost dumbstruck to find the wind classified as calm. There's always wind out in farmland. But it was indeed quite still once I got out there, although the wind picked up a bit during the ride.

I don't know if that ride helped, but I feel better (less tired, particularly) than I did this morning, and I felt better this morning that I've been feeling over the past few weeks. I hope that I will have fixed this fatigue problem before my medical appointment rolls around so that I can cancel the appointment.

My back started hurting far too early in the ride :( 
I should go to the doctor anyway if I'm still having back problems. I know that I should probably stop lifting or lift less, but I hate doing that shit, and my back doesn't hurt much anyhow. I'm hoping the pain was due to poor form and will eventually go away now that I've improved my form...but that may very well be wishful thinking.

I think that I finally really know what it's like to be proud of oneself. Despite having achieved shit in my youth, I never really felt proud or really understood what other people meant about feeling proud of themselves. Doing stuff was just business as usual for me, achievement, hey great, on to the next challenge.

It took time, but I don't think any of it really took much effort. Maybe that's why I never really understood pride. Not that doing that stuff was easy. It was just...or rather, I was...just me. I dunno how to explain it.

But what is not easy is dragging myself up out of this chair when I have fatigue and brain fog and getting shit done. Like that workout this afternoon.

Speaking of workouts, I wish to Allah that I could get an accurate estimate of the calories I burn when I exercise without getting one of those Fitbit thingies. I tried entering the cycling into cronometer and it told me that I'd burned nearly a thousand calories. No. No I didn't.

Last night I dreamt that I was up to some sort of illicit scheme. One or two of my apparent cohorts dropped me off at Harvard. I'm sure the place didn't look the way Harvard looks (I've never seen Harvard), but the sign on the building said "Harvard."

So I went in (I think I was wearing a suit or something similarly dressy) and cased the joint a bit. Went and sat in the student lounge area. Of course shit stopped making sense, that must happen in nearly every dream. There was like some sort of mini freezer that folded out of the little table, and I was excited to find some Eggos in there. Then a toaster appeared and I had a grand old time eating the waffles.

It seemed like I ended up hanging out at Harvard every day for a few days, and a young lady who'd been standing outside near the door the first time I entered saw me around and became attached to me. She started talking to me, and I became nervous, knowing I was up to no good (although I'd forgotten my plan shortly after being dropped off and couldn't remember it after waking either). Well, the dream kind of petered out and ended. She did something nice, I can't remember what.
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