May. 4th, 2017

improperlyhuman: icon says: Radical Feminism: Females First. Always. (females first)
Yet another song I listen to again and again without being able to figure out all the lyrics.

I heard a splash out behind the apartment building yesterday afternoon and wondered where the water had come from. Until I recognized the sound as tires on dirt and gravel.

I don't fall asleep til the wee hours of the morning now. The heat is playing a big role. Spring here is like summer.

I was so tired yesterday, I couldn't collect myself to go grocery shopping (and hadn't finalized this month's menu anyhow). I lay back down but couldn't sleep. I blew through a lot of time putting a marker pen, the one I used for Arabic script, to a use for which it was not intended. Good times.

I had to get some food from the local market because I felt that I couldn't stomach what I had left in the house. I found french bread on sale for a dollar and put some homemade lentil sloppy joe in it.

I also bought a cereal called Nutty Nuggets, kind of a Grape Nuts ripoff. OMG. Most filling thing I've ever eaten. I could have gone the whole day without eating again. I had a couple bowls this morning and was fine until evening with nothing but some coconut candy and a protein bar. I didn't even really feel hungry this evening. And no migraine!

You see, it's the carbs that make me feel full. So I'm back to eating potatoes and brown rice and yams this month.

But I took the bus back home and saw myself kicking this man in the head because he wouldn't stop talking.

The heat. I'm hesitant to leave the windows open because of the insects that keep getting in. A couple days ago, I looked over at the pile of novels sitting up against the wall beneath the window and beheld atop them a creature straight out of National Geographic. I toppled and nearly broke my laptop bolting up out of the chair in mindless horror.

Insects are just so wrong.

And this one was even wronger than usual. She appeared to be a type of cockroach, but of a size so unholy, I would never have expected to find her outside of wilderness or laboratory. At least two, maybe three inches long. And what was she doing coming in through the second floor window?!

The worst thing about insects is seeing them run because running means panic, and their panic infects me. I see them panic and I panic. I don't know why. Given the size, the creature's speed was of course unsurpassed, and watching her bolt across the carpet inspired a new level of horror.

Patiently I devised a way to capture her for return to the outside world, abandoning first a glass candle holder (lest I accidentally crush one of her spindly limbs), then a small aluminum trash can, finally setting a box in her path along a wall.

I've somewhat made my peace with the spiders patrolling the ceilings. It helps that they aren't large or evil-looking. At the moment, a mosquito is sharing the bedroom with me and eating me alive. The bites add to my inability to fall asleep. The breathing exercises help to relax me, but they aren't putting me to sleep so well.
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