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She said yes! That was the easy part. I just spent something like an hour poring over bus and train schedules, trying to figure out when and where we could meet up that wouldn't leave me stranded for the night. I found two places near vegan restaurants, and I'll only have to take two buses to get to each. Now the issues are:


1. can she meet up on a weekday afternoon, and
2. paying attention to the time so I don't miss the bus back home

So shitty being worried about time on a goddamned date. Actually I can just set the alarm on my cell phone. Who the

Not really excited anymore, just exhausted and concerned about late buses and stuff. Trying to coordinate different forms of public transportation really taxes my executive functioning. Part of me just wants to cancel the whole thing. I know I will feel like crap after being out all day and I won't be able to go on many subsequent dates until I move away from here. But I'm getting ahead of myself. We may not have any subsequent dates.

I took a thirty-three minute walk this evening. According to MapQuest, that's about how much time it will take to get from the train to the vegan pizza. So if I feel like crap tomorrow, I'll know what to look forward to.

I'm slowly losing weight, slowly losing my gains. My thighs used to be rock hard; now they're kinda jiggly. One of the benefits of being a mesomorph is that I'd retain a decent amount of muscle mass even if I lost weight with no toning exercise.
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I was carrying three bags and one backpack full of groceries. I was tired. To get to the public transportation center faster, I cut across an empty, overgrown lot, when, lo and behold, I find that the asshole city had put up a gate blocking the way.



I crawled under it.

I can't see any reason for this gate besides making shit more complicated for people who are on foot, which makes no sense given that those are the very people most likely to be going to take the bus.

The center is already a pain to get to, blocked on two of it's four sides by a wall and a field so overgrown and uneven you'd risk a turned ankle crossing it. I've found that the way cities are set up tends to favor motorists. I hate it.

The taxi ride cost way more than I'd expected based on a longer trip someone at the company had quoted me. He'd said that trip would cost something like sixty to seventy-five dollars. At around twenty fewer miles, my trip cost ninety-one! So I used up all my scrip and had no choice but to take the bus home.

The taxi ride had taken longer than anticipated, and I finally got down to shopping too late to catch the afternoon bus. The evening bus never showed up, so I ended up stranded. With a migraine. And low blood sugar. I had $313. $65 of that had to go to a cab. So my financial situation is becoming crucial.

This morning, I called the agency through which I'd hoped to get a telecommuting job. They only recruit for phone-based jobs. Perfect! The person to whom I spoke did direct me to a job board they run, and there are some good leads there. I didn't get the chance to go through them much though, because random fatigue hit again. So I hit the sleeping bag for a nap, stayed too long, then low blood sugar hit again. Such is my life.

I'm not eating much, yet I hardly ever feel very hungry. It's as if my body is compensating for restricted calories by restricting my energy instead of burning fat.

Yeah, I find it generally good to be small. I save money by shopping in the kids' clothing sections, I save money on laundry because more of my clothes fit into a single load. But you know what I like about it the most? Thom let me sit on her lap. I miss that. Maybe again someday.

No Plank!

Mar. 30th, 2017 09:38 pm
improperlyhuman: (Default)
A miracle happened today. I had a bit of time to kill before my lifting workout, and I ended up watching a squat technique video made by the guy who popularized the routine I use.

First, I quickly saw what's been wrong with my form (and has likely been causing my backache): I've been holding the bar on my shoulders instead of on my upper back. I don't know how that happened; I certainly squatted the correct way before The Fire.

So the weight was pressing straight down on my spine, which seems to me like it can cause lower back pain.

Second, I saw that my idea of (positioning my feet) "shoulder-length apart" was too narrow. I got up right then and tried to squat with my feet wider apart. Then I actually measured my shoulders, put the tape measure on the floor and positioned my feet on it so that the distance between my heels matched the distance I'd measured between my shoulders. And I was able to squat that way, unassisted!

This is a big freakin deal because I long ago gave up on being able to squat below parallel unassisted and have been squatting with my heels elevated on a one inch thick plank of wood. For the first time in forever, I squatted without that plank today. In order to allow myself to get used to that, however, I had to dial back the weight to 65 lbs.

I also made sure to put the bar on my back, and that felt more comfortable immediately. The weight also felt lighter. I hope to quickly progress back up to the weight I was squatting before. I expect my back to gradually heal from the damage I've been doing it.

I finally got my taxi scrip this afternoon, so I'll be taking a taxi out of town for my groceries and starting my new high protein diet on the 3rd. I may have to make some serious modifications to the diet, however. As it stands, I'll need 24 lbs. of broccoli and 12 lbs. of tofu for the month. That in itself will cost a fortune, even if the broccoli is not organic.

I haven't been able to figure out how to get 1 g of protein per pound of body weight (that's 121 g) per day while maintaining the caloric deficit I need to lose 1 lb. per week, so I'm sticking with 100-110 g of protein per day. That's probably enough. The caloric deficit is more important to me.

My housing tech made an appointment to come see the heater tomorrow morning.
improperlyhuman: (Default)
I finally got out to south county yesterday. It was definitely out in the country! I went to a tiny little town that has less than a thousand residents. It wasn't as picturesque as I'd hoped, but the real deal-breaker was the zero cycling options—not only were the streets in bad shape, the only ways out of town were a shoulderless two-lane road and the typically sparse public transportation service ( a little van in which the drivers freely played the radio. I dared not ask them to turn it off.).

Someone I'd contacted about an apartment in a neighboring town happened to return my call on the way there, so we met up and I viewed a one-bedroom next to the highway. It had a huge kitchen and a tiny bedroom, and the back wall was shared with the local beauty salon.

I was ready to leave an hour after I arrived. I had to pee and there was nowhere to go. City Hall had no public restroom and the library wouldn't open for hours. The Chinese restaurant was closed (in violation of its posted hours), and I didn't want to go into the café because I felt pressured to buy for using the restroom and I knew there'd be nothing vegan except coffee. I finally went between some trees in a brown, crunchy field at the edge of town.

The trip cost a fortune and I ended up with a migraine because I hadn't taken any food with me. I missed the connecting bus in the neighboring town, but I wasn't too upset because I had a chance to eat at the Taco Bell across the street. And being upset takes brain function that I lacked at that point. I want to say it was like being hungover, but I've never been hungover so I wouldn't know. It occurred to me that a big part of my recent fatigue is recurrent blood sugar problems due to not eating when I need to. I've gone from 4–6 meals a day to 3 poorly timed meals.

That ole dyke who introduced herself to me came onto the shelter patio and kissed the other womon who says hello (so nicely) to me all the time. Good for them. I guess the latter says hello to me because she knows I'm family. You know, some people don't need to come out at all: they're just FLAMING.

I've cycled like 15 miles today and it feels great. I found that Trader Joe's 7 miles away from the library I was in (I'm in a different one now), and I jumped at the chance to get some more exercise. Leg muscle definition is coming along nicely.

Today's meals consist of a wrap (which I'd eaten before remembering to photograph) and two organic bananas from Trader Joe's. I guess I'll dip the fruit into some peanut butter for a more substantial dinner.
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